Honey, your April horoscope is here …
Fate reigns supreme in film noir, but that doesn’t mean we don’t love us some zodiac fun. Hope your April is devoid of tiresome fools and fretting over taxes, and instead marked by spring’s sensual delights and adorable bunnies bearing baskets of treats. And happy birthday, Aries and Taurus! A special shout-out to Aries bad asses Bette Davis, Spencer Tracy and Gregory Peck (April 5), Francis Ford Coppola and Russell Crowe (April 7), Julie Christie and Sarah Michelle Gellar (April 14), Maria Bello (April 18) and Taurus mega-talents Jack Nicholson (April 22), Al Pacino (April 25) and Penelope Cruz (April 28).
Aries (March 21-April 20): Just when you thought strong-willed Aries was aptly personified by Joan Crawford (March 26), along comes Bette Davis (April 5) to give Joan a run for her money. An actress, a fighter and a thinker, Davis was always ahead of her time. One off-screen example: When she co-founded and ran the Hollywood Canteen, a nightclub for WWII servicemen, she insisted that the venue be racially integrated, pointing out that in combat, “The black soldiers take the bullets the same as the whites.” This month, follow in her determined footsteps and, on the creative front, adhere to this Davis maxim: “Attempt the impossible in order to improve your work.” Meanwhile, live it up! Be spontaneous, sexy and silly, and don’t waste time on guilt.
Taurus (April 21-May 21): It might be high time for a spring shopping spree. But before you whip out your wallet, consider the singular beauty of a big fat bank balance; it is a sight to behold. Perhaps you could get by on last year’s haul or restrict yourself to one frugal purchase. Don’t forget to tap your crafty, ever-so-slightly conniving side to dream up a few clever April Fools’ jokes. You shouldn’t deny your adoring fans the chance to enjoy your terrific flair for fun. Be bold with your man the week of the 18th. Come to think of it, why wait till then?
Gemini (May 22-June 21): “Flowers, candy, and current books … are the classic gifts which a woman may accept from a man without hesitation,” explains Vogue’s Book of Etiquette, 1948. But honestly what self-respecting seductress would turn down a big old sparkly rock? Never stand on ceremony if there’s more than half a carat involved. Meanwhile, this month you may be pondering other, more immediate issues, such as: What’s up with all these deer-in the-headlights dudes? You know, the ones who follow you around, are clearly mesmerized and then seem to be baffled by the prospect of saying hello. Such prolonged weirdness does not bode well for fulfillment so set your sights on a different vibe.
Cancer (June 22-July 23): If you are watching HBO’s “Mildred Pierce” this month, learn from MP’s example – while generosity is gorgeous, giving too much to an ingrate can be disastrous. Boundaries, though sometimes hard to set, can be mighty important in terms of improving a relationship. Your amazing ability to make the most of every day, even in the face of a setback, such as an illness, inspires those around you. Know that even when you are being a diva, you are treasured by friends and family. You may uncover an extra source of income; the 16th is a good day to take a little chance.
Leo (July 24-August 23): A change of scene gives you much-needed perspective and may help you make a major decision. Before departing for the new locale, treat yourself to a vampworthy shade of lipstick, say True Coral by Tom Ford? Though your aristocratic nature means you are often inclined to square your proud shoulders and refuse to acknowledge defeat, try to reveal a little vulnerability – contrary to what you expect, it may endear you to someone you’d like to get close to. A day of pure frivolity is in order on the 21st.
Virgo (August 24-September 23): It seems logical enough: You don’t want to be enmeshed in another’s drama and so you withdraw. But on some level, are you backing away because you feel that you, the consummate cheerer-upper, can’t fix the situation? If so, then this has become about you, not about the drama king or queen. Though it may seem counter-intuitive, see what happens when you put it back on him or her; asking “What’s that like for you?” Then lower your defenses, really listen, and validate. And voila it is no longer your problem! You’ll be admired (yes, yet again) on the 9th, 14th and 28th.
Libra (September 24-October 23): You typically attain balance with little effort but extra demands at work add to your stress level and you may feel like overindulging midmonth. This is best left to fantasy, however, as temperance and moderation will stand you in good stead. Better to book an extra-long massage – a nice pair of hands is a delicious way to deal with tension, c’est vrai? And remember that if you can’t find time for your full workout, a little exercise is better than none. By the end of the month, an old contact may be in touch with an interesting proposition.
Scorpio (October 24-November 22): This month presents you with a challenge: You need to relish your power and be the aggressor on the romantic front. Oh, again? Don’t worry, it will be anything but boring. At the same time, you must resist any temptation to take a cheap shot with an ex or former associate who frankly is just not worthy of your prodigious energy. For example, upon hearing Britney Spears’ new “Femme Fatale” album, it might occur to you to sneer: Can the girl spell femme fatale or name a movie that features one? But alas, such a comment is like shooting fish in a barrel. You were meant for loftier targets.
Sagittarius (November 23-December 22): If you encounter someone who’s crazy for kayaking, biking and hiking, and you’re a committed coach potato with a penchant for French literature and bon bons (or vice versa), don’t assume that you’re incompatible. Viva la difference, after all. A work initiative may require you to decode some clues. Don’t be too literal as this will limit you; instead let your tour-de-force imagination take charge. You will produce answers and ideas galore. Give in to temptation on the 23rd.
Capricorn (December 23-January 20): You’ve been a supportive friend and a good listener for someone who keeps falling into the same futile pattern. Girlfriend may need you to set her straight so speak your mind; just be gentle and choose your words carefully. Don’t overthink things with your Man du Jour – after all, what’s sexier than a relaxed, confident vibe? If you sense that a rival is attempting to undermine you around the 12th realize that she/he is likely threatened by your prowess and verve.
Aquarius (January 21-February 19): If something irks you midmonth, go on, get riled up. Anger in small doses is not a bad thing. Remember though, anger is a secondary emotion – it stems from hurt or fear. So be sure to examine and assess the root of your feeling. With a new work project, you may feel that you are cast against type, but don’t let that drain your confidence. You can rock any role that comes your way and get rave reviews. On the romantic front, let instinct and intuition guide you, especially on the 21st.
Pisces (February 20-March 20): Be proud of your quirks and flaws this month. As seventies golden girl and Pisces Patti Hansen (wife of Keith Richards) said in April’s Allure magazine: “We’re in a society where we are really changing what we’ve been born with, and we’re all starting to look alike. We’re losing our individuality. I hate that I put braces on [daughters Alexandra and Theodora Richards]. Crooked teeth are great.” Hansen, a survivor of breast and bladder cancer, turned 55 on March 17. On a creative project, your patience and persistence finally pays off. Celebrate in style, you deserve it!