Noir Horoscopes

Fate reigns supreme in film noir, but that doesn’t mean we don’t love us some zodiac fun. Hope your June is full of brides wearing black and plenty of men with beachworthy bodies. And happy birthday, Gemini and Cancer! A special shout-out and remembrances to Gemini A-listers Marilyn Monroe (June 1), Tony Curtis (June 3), Angelina Jolie (June 4), Isabella Rossellini and Roger Ebert (June 18), Kathleen Turner (June 19), and Cancer treasures Billy Wilder (June 22), Frances McDormand (June 23), John Cusack (June 28) and Susan Hayward (June 30).

Gemini (May 22-June 21): This month, when you get that let’s-put-on-a-show! feeling, go with the urge. No experience, no cash, no contacts? No problem! See where enthusiasm and can-do energy will take you. Even if it doesn’t take you all the way, you will be generating exciting ideas and forging new paths. Man du Jour will make this a summer to remember; cut him some slack if he forgets to chill the champagne or shows up with a mere dozen roses. Keep him sweet – you may need him to work the curtain. 😉

Cancer (June 22-July 23): “Didn’t we just have this conversation?” you might find yourself saying, your typically dulcet tone poised to become an impatient snarl. In other words, there could be a few minor communication snags that try your patience and leave you flummoxed. Wait, I take that back. Flummoxed? I think not. Self-possessed and supremely confident, you can handle anything that comes your way. This month, try to dole out a bit of patience for those less capable than you. Be extra flexible the weekend of the 16th. More

Fate reigns supreme in film noir, but that doesn’t mean we don’t love us some zodiac fun. Hope your May is full of lovely weather and luxurious living. And happy birthday, Taurus and Gemini! A special shout-out and remembrances to Taurus icons George Clooney (May 6), David O. Selznick (May 10), Harvey Keitel (May 13), Cate Blanchett (May 14), Joseph Cotten (May 15), Debra Winger and Megan Fox (May 16), and James Stewart (May 20). Gemini charmers we love include Pam Grier (May 26), Vincent Price (May 27) and Annette Bening (May 29).

Taurus (April 21-May 21): Your life will be touched by decadent delight and a few sinful surprises (calories be damned!)  this month. Appreciate it and have fun. At the same time, make sure you take a moment to look at the bigger picture and see an opportunity, even a dream, that beckons on the horizon. To be open to it, be in the moment and don’t listen to any fearful or negative internal chatter. Abandon old worries, especially about appearance because you look fantastic, and don’t waste mental energy on second-guessing yourself. Oh and btw, romance awaits you, so make sure you have that smoldering gaze and sexy smile down. 😉

Gemini (May 22-June 21): Communication prodigy that you are, you will see a sleek solution to a sticky problem with friends, family or your adoring fans. Hint: It may be that a more-the-merrier approach trumps exclusivity when it comes to a trip or gathering this month. At work, however, the opposite may hold true and decision-making by committee will impede progress so step up and call it as you see it. On the romantic front, you have issued a meeting request to the Universe so sit back and relax or better yet get up and go shopping while scheduling details are being finalized. You will look and feel like a million bucks this month so don’t forget to flirt. As if! More

Fate reigns supreme in film noir, but that doesn’t mean we don’t love us some zodiac fun. Hope your January is full of cozy fires, clean slates and copious joy. And happy birthday, Capricorn and Aquarius! A special shout-out to Caps Nicolas Cage (Jan. 7), Faye Dunaway and Larry Kasdan (both Jan. 14), Kate Moss (Jan. 16), Tippi Hedren (Jan. 19), Diane Lane (Jan. 22), Heather Graham (Jan. 29) and, sharing Jan. 30, Christian Bale and Gene Hackman.

Capricorn (December 23-January 20): Georgia May Jagger, daughter of Mick Jagger and Jerry Hall, born Jan. 12, seems the quintessential Cap – strong, sexy, grounded and funny. Not only is she the face of Chanel, she also endorses Rimmel London and Hudson Jeans. As she told Harper’s Bazaar recently: “I model jeans. You need a bum for those.” Rock on, GMJ, though somehow I don’t see pudgy in your gene pool. And check out the January Harper’s to catch up with drop-dead gorgeous Jerry. “I gave [my daughters, Lizzy and Georgia] all these films to watch,” she says. “Marlene Dietrich, Bette Davis, Barbara Stanwyck, and Mae West. Actually, they both shot with Karl Lagerfeld, and he was saying to them, ‘Okay, be Bette Davis in “The Letter.” ’ And they knew what to do!”

Speaking of Bette Davis, she once remarked that, “If everyone likes you, you’re doing your job wrong.” Bear this mind if any people-pleasing tendencies get in the way of your ambition. Enjoy being showered with attention and affection this month. You will have much to juggle so plan ahead and make the extra effort to attain balance. Ain’t nothing wrong with some downtime, don’t forget. What first appears to be a casual get-together may in fact be a date with destiny. More

Sagittarius (November 23-December 22): Work might be a source of irritation this month, especially if you have multiple birthday parties to grace with your presence. The next time you see your least-fave colleagues, imagine taking a cue from fellow Sag Keith Richards (Dec. 18) and telling them: “It’s great to see you all. It’s great to see anybody.” Of course only Keith himself really pulls this off, but at least you’ll be thinking of someone infinitely more amusing than the cube-farm folks. Don’t worry if you’re not best friends with your entire work gang. It’s better to be professional than popular. Besides you’ll need extra energy for life outside the office. Be rendezvous-ready at the drop of a hat; it might just start raining men.

Capricorn (December 23-January 20): Burning the candle at both ends looks likely. Another day, another party. To pace yourself, remember that you should always leave a party wanting one more drink. If the travel bug bites, start planning an exotic trip for next year. Doesn’t Sydney sound fun? Or somewhere closer and cozy. At work, you will find an elegant solution to an awkward problem. This month, toss your guy a few extra compliments; I have yet to meet the man who dislikes praise. If single, toss a new guy a compliment; I have yet to meet the man who dislikes praise.More